I’ve been pondering this ‘being bossed around’ concept quite a bit.
So now to work it out in my own mind, I’m going to jackel it all on here ‘outloud’ so I can reach some connection with myself and how I’m feeling in order to work out what I’m needing.
BJ keeps saying things that irk me, like “your hair is stringy – you should wash it more often” or “I’m not coming over unless you clean the bathroom and toilet” or after I’ve been to the gym “oh you’re a bit smelly, put deoderant on” or “I must admit, I was pretty surprised to see dishes still in your sink”.
I do like him, but lately I’ve noticed these comments have been coming out more frequently and frankly I’m pretty pissed off. Especially now that I write down these four occurances and they’re not the only examples! Who does he think he is treating me like this? Is he looking for perfection?
I feel like I’m being bossed around.
But because I’ve studied NVC I know that being bossed around doesn’t exist… I’m the only one that control my feelings and needs so I’m the one responsible for my behaviour.
I need respect and autonomy and acceptance for who I am DAMNIT!
Now I’m feeling pretty angry… frustrated and scared. I’m scared that I won’t be able to communicate this effectively and we end up breaking up. It’s only been 2 months, so I guess we’re testing each other out right now. But I do need to discuss this with him coz I obviously have strong feelings and therefore important needs behind them.
Hmm… I need some empathy… going to go get some.
